To add to my blog on positive thinking, I got to thinking about some things. Here in St. Louis, we've had quite a violent last couple of weeks. A couple of days ago, a minister was shot in front of his congregation while giving his sermon. Several people have been killed in recent drunk driving accidents. Everyday there are people who are arrested for all kinds of violent crime. Following these types of stories, watching the news and reading the newspaper can really get negative thoughts flowing. To guard myself from negativity, I rarely watch the news and read only headlines in the newspaper. I like to use the defense mechanism of denial in a healthy way by avoiding large doses of negativity. This helps me focus more on the positive side of life. I challenge you to look at how you get doses of negativity. Do you need a news-free day? Do you need to avoid those negative co-workers gossiping at the water cooler? How can you better take care of yourself so you can stay positive?
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One of the biggest techniques I teach my clients is to think positively. So many of us walk around with all of this negativity in our thoughts. Our society has really pushed the negativity. If you think about what you see on the news and in the newspapers, it's all negative. You rarely get a feel good story. I see lots of people in my office who get stuck in such negative thinking. Negative thinking affects so many areas of your life. It drains your energy and creates more negative energy. Think about the theory of like attracts like. If you are putting out negative energy, negative energy is going to come back to you. However, if you are putting out positive energy, you will be rewarded with positive energy. No, you don't have to walk around like Stuart Smalley (from Saturday Night Live), but making some changes toward thinking more positively will make you feel so much better. So, I challenge you to start thinking positively. Expect good things to happen to you. You'll be surprised because good things will start to flow your way. I recently had a struggle with deciding on what type of day care my children should be in. Unfortunately, I have to work and am at the point where I need to add more office hours. Although I love being with my children, I am conflicted at work because I do not have enough client hours to meet all of my clients' needs. As I thought about this decision, I was reminded of the steps that we teach in our communication workshops about making decisions. To solve a problem or make a decision, we need to be more aware of all of the components that go into making a decision. There are 5 things that need to be taken into account: the sensory data (the facts about the situation), your thoughts, your emotions, what you want, and your behaviors, both current and past. As you look at all of these components, making a decision is a lot easier because you have taken into account all of the necessary data. Since looking at that information, I have made progress toward my dilemma. I also realized that I need more information to finalize my decision. Sometimes, we rush to make decisions without all of the necessary information. So, think about how you make decisions. What information do you need to make your decision.? What information are you consistently leaving out? I recently had a situation at home this weekend where I witnessed an exchange between my husband and my son. My son became very upset and had an angry tone of voice toward my husband. Likewise, it occurred to me that my husband had snapped at my son and also had used an angry tone of voice. In our communication classes, we teach people about "Styles of Communication". That is, "how" you communicate your message. People utilize various styles and the style that you choose will greatly impact your conversation exchange. Therefore, you get the style that you give. Just like my husband, our son gave him the same style back. Pay attention to how you communicate. Changing your tone of voice and utilizing kind words will help you to have more satisfying and productive exchanges. And if you want to be spoken to with kind words, you must first treat others with kind words. Do you ever set goals for yourself? I used to work for a company that made me sit down annually to write down my career goals. It was a neat approach and it certainly made me focus on working towards those goals. I still take time to mentally determine what goals I want to work on in my career, but I recently decided that it is time to write them down on paper. I also wondered about writing down some personal goals that I want to accomplish as well. By personal goals, I am referring to goals that will help me grow as a person. For some people, personal goals may include weight loss, going to therapy, taking a cooking class, spending more time with friends, etc. I encourage you to take time to not only write down your career goals, but also your personal goals. Make sure you take the time to write out the steps that you will take to reach your goal. There is nothing better than being able to watch your progress by checking off all the things you are doing to accomplish your dreams. Happy goal setting! I just got finished with a 3 day workshop that took up my entire weekend. Fortunately, I don't have to work today, but I certainly have to work around my house to catch up on all of the housework that didn't get done while I was gone. Racing around from chore to chore can really burn you out. It doesn't give you any down time which is important these days. So, when you have crazy times like I have had lately, how do you de-stress? Good ways to de-stress are getting exercise, fresh air, spending time with friends, curling up with a good book, etc. Make sure you are spending time on relaxing leisure activities or hobbies. Stress can certainly take a toll on one's body so it's also important to make sure you get plenty of rest, good nutrition and exercise. I took the time to play games with my kids, go out to eat with my family, and watch a favorite television show with my husband. It was much needed after a demanding weekend. I hope to get in a little more R&R today. So, for today, think about how you can incorporate some down time in your schedule. I recently lost my dog, Scooby after 14 years of being together. It really was a great loss in my life. It was really the first major loss in my life. I have had grandparents pass, which, don't get me wrong, were difficult to deal with, but they weren't living with me. I now have to deal with getting up every day without saying good morning to my closest friend. Throughout this whole ordeal, I have come to realize how I respond to grief. I have also looked at how others respond to grief as well. We all have differing ways of responding and what works for some does not work for others. My biggest "aha" moment was recognizing that when I needed to cry, I let it loose. I also realized that strange and often sudden waves of sadness would come over me. I have decided to sit with these feelings, feel them and allow myself to grieve when I need to. Have you lost someone close to you? In what ways do you grieve? Hi! Welcome to my site. I decided to start a blog after my good friend, Tara (www.mylifecoachtara.com) told me that this may help me get the word out about all of my career activities. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Certified Communication Specialist. I am located in the St. Louis, Missouri area and I provide individual and couples counseling. I also teach communication workshops with 2 of my colleagues. I am excited about using this blog to communicate all of the cool things I come across in the counseling field. I hope to inspire personal growth to all of those who choose to read my blogs. We are all on a journey in life and I hope that you come along with me as I start on a new path in my journey. |